Date: August 14th 2010

GRACEWORKS MAIL 32/10
August 13, 2010 Edition.
(A ministry of Graceworks: www.graceworks.com.sg)

Grace@Work Commentary: Meeting Up
By Soo-Inn Tan

How many good conversations have you had this week?
Apparently "happier people have more meaningful
conversations (Melinda Wenner Moyer, "Skip the Small Talk,"
Scientific American Mind, July/August 2010,12)." In a study
conducted at the University of Arizona and Washington
University in St Louis, researchers found that subjects who
were happy and content "spent 70 percent more time talking
than the unhappiest subjects, which suggests that 'the mere
time a person spends in the presence of others is a good
predictor of the person's level of happiness . . .' (Moyer,12)."
These happy subjects "participated in a third as much small
talk and had twice as many in-depth conversations as the
most unhappy participants (Moyer, 12)." Which may explain
why many of us are not happy.

At care group meeting last night, someone shared that when
she moved down from Malaysia to Singapore, she thought she
would find fewer challenges to her faith. (Christians in
Malaysia have to live out their faith in an Islamic context,
where Islam is used by some quarters to assert political
power.) Instead, in Singapore, she found that her faith was
challenged by the sheer busyness of life here. Well,
depending on what you do, I am not sure a city like KL is any
less busy. The modern work world is demanding, and when
people are busy, the first thing to go is relationships,
especially the face to face meetings that are the basis for the
good conversations that sustain relationships. And if the above
report is to be believed, healthy relationships are key to our
well being.

We have about 17 people on the roll of our care group and we
meet twice a month. Many times, just before a meeting, we
have to decide if we should continue, because many people
are not able to make it, most with valid reasons. We all live
busy lives. Making time for our groups is a decision that
Bernice and I make and often it does mean saying no to other
important things. And when people question the size of our
group I have to explain that at any given meeting usually
about 10 - 12 people show up, often less. However, we
normally do not cancel meetings and we meet with whoever
shows up. To skip one meeting means we meet only once a
month and that is not adequate for group life.

We also understand the importance of good conversations and
so we factor that into our care group meeting. We always
start our meetings with dinner. Over a meal, people start to
relax, they start to share their stories. As they share the
meal, they begin to share their lives. When we go into the
study time we struggle to understand God's truth but we also
struggle to see how the truth intersects with our lives. And
times of prayer are often preceded with sharing the things
that are on our heart. To encourage sharing, we usually divide
the group into smaller sub groupings, smaller groups of twos
and threes, or divided by gender.

Christianity is a relational faith which is only natural since we
follow a relational God of Father, Son, and Spirit. We are not
surprised then that the Scriptures command that we do not
neglect meeting up.

[And let us hold unwaveringly to the hope that we confess, for
the one who made the promise is trustworthy. And let us take
thought of how to spur one another on to love and good
works, not abandoning our own meetings, as some are in the
habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and even more so
because you see the day drawing near. (Hebrews 10:23-25
NET)]

William L. Lane comments:

[The reason the meetings of the assembly are not to be
neglected is that they provide a communal setting where
mutual encouragement and admonishment may occur . . . The
entire community must assume responsibility to watch that no
one grows weary or apostate. This is possible only when
Christians continue to exercise care for one another
personally. (Hebrews 9-13, Dallas, TX: Word Books, 1991,
290.)]

The early church were house churches of about 30 - 40 people
that met in homes. Therefore, this admonishment by the
writer of Hebrews may not have our usual Sunday large group
worship services in mind. While such meetings may be great
for inspiration and instruction, they are basically impersonal
in nature. It is our small groups, our cell groups and care
groups, that provide a better context to live out Hebrews
10:23-25. Even then, mutual care must be intentional.
Throwing a small group of people together does not guarantee
that they will have good life-giving conversations.

Indeed, we need to ask if having small groups in our churches
is an adequate response to our need for personal mutual care
since it is so hard to get all the members of a small group to
be in the same place at the same time. A pastor friend in KL is
now emphasising that the members of his community commit
themselves to spiritual friendship groups of three members
each. It is easier to find a common meeting time for three
than for 17. He still has small groups in his church but is now
emphasizing the smaller friendship groups. Folks in the
friendship groups may or may not be part of the church small
groups but all groups function under the authority of the
church leadership. Here is one church and one pastor who is
trying to make sure that Hebrews 10: 23-25 happens.

We live in an increasingly busy world. That is the reality we
have to contend with. Therefore we need to find creative
ways for all of us to find the life-giving fellowship we all need.
But not meeting up is not an option.


------------------------------------------------------
Ministering this weekend
August 14 (Saturday)
VCF Alumni Meeting
Spiritual Friendship
3:00 5:00 pm
MOE Dairy Farm Adventure Centre
30 Dairy Farm Road
Singapore 679058

August 15 (Sunday)
Evangel Christian Church
Sunday Morning Worship
"God Loves a Cheerful Giver" (2 Cor 9:6-15)
10:00 11:30 am
211, Henderson Road, #04-02
Singapore 159552



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